Letting Go: A Black Queer Perspective

Letting go is a powerful act of self-love and growth that can bring about profound transformations in our lives. From a Black queer perspective, the journey of letting go can be even more complex and nuanced, shaped by unique experiences and challenges. Let's dive right in!

Embracing Vulnerability

As a Black queer individual, I have often felt pressure to be strong and resilient in the face of adversity. However, I have come to realize that true strength lies in embracing vulnerability and letting go of the need to constantly put up a front. By allowing myself to be vulnerable, I have been able to connect more deeply with others and with myself. The overactivity of the mind can often make us feel as though if we're not being productive or progressive in our normal daily activities, we hold little value and need to work harder, do more, and be better. The reality is that we have the right to review what we're doing and ask for help, balter through the experiences until the lessons connect with us, and move at our own pace without judgement or ridicule from ourselves or others. When we embrace where we are we relieve ourselves of expectations that hold us hostage mentally and emotionally. We then can live confidently in the moment as we navigate the experiences that are in front of us.

Letting Go By Releasing Internalized Shame

Growing up in a society that often marginalizes and stigmatizes Black queer identities can lead to internalized shame and self-doubt. Letting go of these negative beliefs about myself has been a liberating and empowering process. By challenging societal norms and embracing my true self, I have been able to cultivate a sense of pride and self-acceptance.

Forgiving and Moving Forward

One of the most powerful acts of letting go is forgiveness. Forgiving those who have hurt us, as well as forgiving ourselves for past mistakes, is essential for healing and moving forward. By releasing resentment and anger, we create space for love, compassion, and growth in our lives. That means letting go of the words that cut like knives, forgiving the traumas that were forced upon us, and taking our power to repurpose that energy. Our healing is on the other side of letting go. It's not to say that we should forget, but instead can learn to use what we've gone through to advocate for ourselves and others. The best work comes from the testimonies acquired from our experiences. Just continue to move forward after the release.

Celebrating Intersectionality

Being Black and queer means navigating multiple layers of identity and experiencing unique forms of discrimination and prejudice. Letting go of the pressure to conform to narrow definitions of identity has allowed me to celebrate the richness and complexity of my intersecting identities. Embracing my intersectionality has been a source of strength and resilience in the face of adversity.

Letting go is a continual process that requires courage, self-reflection, and compassion. From a Black queer perspective, it is an act of resistance and liberation that paves the way for greater authenticity, connection, and empowerment.

It isn't easy, and honestly there's a process to learning to let go It begins with realization. Realizing that there is a difference between you and others. Next, is detachment. We detach from the idea of our differences in an attempt to "fit in" and be accepted. Afterwards is enlightenment. Something happens that gets us to stop caring so much about fitting in and encourages us to stand out and find our own tribes. Lastly, is release. We release the ideas that we have to fit a particular mold for others to see our value.

It takes a while to get through this process and it looks different in each of us based on our experiences. The most challenging part is understanding that we were never meant to fit in to make other people comfortable. Our uniqueness is our power, but often times we see this power as a handicap based on the lens that we've been given to see ourselves. This is programming that we can unlearn but serves as a challenge for those of us that just want to be loved for who we are rather than what we can do for others. Coming to the conclusion that we don't have to please others to fit in and can stand in our unique power is one of the most liberating experiences on the tail end of rewiring the brain to shift behaviors tied to the previous programming. It's tough, but the reward is so much greater than the staying stagnant.

If you have trouble with letting go find a trusted companion, friend, family member, coach, or counselor to work through any barriers. Ignoring the feelings and traumas only adds to the anxiety, doubt, fear, and anger we experience while enduring the process of letting go. If you find yourself struggling to work through this process and finding confidence in expressing yourself, click here to book a free introductory session with me and let's chat about it. Letting go is much easier when you work with someone that has done the work to reprogram their brains and to live in their truths and I'd be happy to help you as well. Until the next time, stay blessed and live your deepest dreams!